And To Think;

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Tell me Goodbye

Nearly 5 months since I've updated, and well, all I can say is...

I honestly thought nobody reads this anymore. Well, except for you, I guess, Mr. Slick. ;) Haha. I've been busy, definitely, but I've also, well, migrated.

Actually, I migrated about a year ago, but I thought I would still be able to commit to this old blog. Guess I'm human like that. And I've deleted the tagboard to make way for a new one here.

That's where you'll usually find me. ;) Not a lot of updates on my life, but I'm planning on rectifying that soon. Hehe.

As for this; I'm not ready to let it go just yet, so this site will still be here for a while. Until then, see you on the other side.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

When sorry was all she had.

A/N: It's unchecked, it's raw, and it was born out of a desire to really put some of these words to good use once more. =) By the way, I'm fine now. =)

“Get off the blasted couch and clean the dishes, for goodness’ sake! Do you LIKE hearing me shout constantly?!”

“Well, to me, Hamlet’s hamartia, is not necessarily his hubris; rather, it is his inactive and passive aggressive behaviour that delays the…”

“”’Cause this is my story; just the breaking of my heart;””

“Work done is equals to force in Newton times acceleration…”

“How the heck do you find the stupid area of this stupid shaded figure?!”

“Gah, screw differentiation.”

“Where’s Dad?”

“”Light up, light up, even if you had no choice, even if you cannot hear my voice;””

“If I were gay, would you break up with me?”

“Dear God....”

“”And no sky contains, no doubt restrains all You are, the greatness of our God;””

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Sorry =(…”

Drooping eyes barely making out the words before her; she’s had quite enough of them, for once. She hasn’t any desire to read, despite it being her Achilles’ heel, and she’s feeling lifeless again. She hates going through all of that, because she doesn’t want to go through the pain of dying and the shallow breathing and the profoundly terrible ache in her chest and-

Really, she’s had quite enough with words today. They’re just not adequate enough. Can’t encompass all of the expressions she’s desperate to let out. It’s taken too literally, and sometimes, just not literally enough.

She wishes she could go on, because this isn’t enough; it’s too brief, it barely skims the surface, it’s too wide open for interpretation.

Yet she can’t, because all of her words; they’re taken away from her. Pulled, snatched, ripped from her mouth, her mind, her plastered heart, and she’s got nothing left, when all she ever had were words.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

While I brood over Hamlet;

So.

I guess the whole nation is very much aware of the fact that, well, results are out. For O Levels, AS and A2 Levels. That sounds weird, but never mind. And over the past nearly 24 hours, there has been breakdowns, tears of joy, sorrow, regret, rage and probably plain ol' disappoinment and gratitude have been shed. Curses have been uttered, praises accompany them. It's surreal seeing this again. Jolts you into remembering what the future holds; or rather, not knowing what it's got in its hands.

And where do I stand? I guess I expected my results, but didn't exactly expect it as well. I can't say I've done my best; I've probably done worse than ever, in terms of my standards, what's expected of me. But I'm grateful I didn't literally bomb any of them; except for Math, probably. HAHA. Ah well. You wouldn't need Math for either English Studies or Journalism, would you?

I'd probably need a B to get a freaking scholarship, though. Ugh. Hauling ass in order to ace (or not bomb the thing anymore) Math commences.... When I've got my schedule in order and my homework done. Mwahaha. Sometime this week, if all goes well and I've pulled my head out of the pretty clouds and nonexistent rainbows.

Scary. All of it. It's scary. So unclear.

Hamlet and his failure to pull-his-head-out-of-his-butt-to-kill-his-uncle-for-murdering-his-father pales by comparison, honestly. So suck on that, mate.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

In the club;

I guess planning way too early, conjuring something way too fixed... Probably isn't a good idea, in retrospect.

When Ches mentioned the policy about UBD regarding its employees (specifically, lecturers), his wasn't the only plan that, well, had some leaks in it. I've had a clear idea of where I want to go, what I want to be, when I was much younger, back when peers still wonder if Economics is more fun than Business Studies or if POA was easier than, say, Computing. Immerse myself in English, be awesome at it, go to UBD, get a scholarship somewhere along the way overseas and come back and work in UBD before I study for PhD again.

I guess life's never as clear-cut as that.

Maybe it's fortunate I hear about it now, before I leave sixth form and become stranded with no place to go, no back-up plan, no idea what God actually has in store for me.

Dad's been giving me some ideas, and it's definitely something I'd like to explore; journalism and editing, I mean. Writing, expressing my opinions, making sure the articles have good English. ;P But I still like to talk; make people see just how cool and complex and imperfect and relevant the language is today. Thus why I don't want to be stuck being a mere teacher in a high school.

Maybe the fact that I want to do something different than them has a pretty big influence in that as well.

I don't know, honestly. All I can do right now is pray some more, trust Him just a little bit more, and do my own part.

Gaggle of people who've no concrete idea what they want to be and are severely running out of time; meet your newest recruit.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I want a Husky. This is Shan Wee's fault. =(

Look at it. It's SO CUTE.

And them!

2011 had a very hectic start; I'm hoping it isn't an omen for the entire year. God (and a whole load of other people) knows just how freaking swamped I was last year with everything. =S If I even bother with making new year resolutions, I'd say being less busy would be among the top three things on the list. But yeah; had the whole PWM thing at CHMS on the 8th (third year for me, methinks) and thank the good Lord that everything went really well for both the caroling and handmime team. =D

Besides that; the school has accepted the Cohort 1 students (January intake) and these poor souls get to get a head start on their education for Lower Six! Oh the joy it brings forth. I started school in January, and I was almost sobbing (not literally, but almost, hence the word almost) for an extension of the holidays. Sighs.

AND THEN, we welcomed (not really, but it's the truth) the Cohort 2 guys and girls and, well, it's been crazy exhausting. I mean, I get tired easily, but the past few days (especially the first few days when they came like hordes of bees) were literally enough to make me fall dead asleep every night. Not that I don't appreciate it. HAHA.

I look REALLY fair here. Sighs. Wish I really was. T.T

Din! The only guy in school that dares to punch (no, not physically maim) me, I think. HAHAHA. Next to Jeremy. =P

SO difficult finding a picture with the juniors in it. =.=" HAHAHAHA!

Choir.

Such an awesomedary club. =') (Isaac and Dan, if you read this, know that I use this invented word in the best of ways. ;P)

BABI FACE!

Cohort 2's program is STILL ongoing (2 weeks T.T) and AS results would be out soon! =S Sighs. Freaking nervous. But whatever I get, I give it to God. =) Couldn't, wouldn't have done everything without You.

Besides that; homework's been piling up but HOPEFULLY I'll get to drop EAS and get TWO PS blocks! =D So I can study/revise/play around/work during one and sleep during the other. HEHE. Watched Step Up 3 today! =D Didn't finish because I had to go home early, but yeah. And yes, everyone's said this, but I am in awe of their mad skills. Freakishly mad skills. Robot Man was the best. =D

The SAME exact poster they used for the movie in the LT! =D

His red glasses makes him look like a cyborg. SO cool. =B

Aside from all that, I guess there's nothing more I could type about, honestly.

Friday, December 31, 2010

To the last.

A/N: Since everyone's writing a review or posting pictures for the last day of the year, I guess I'll just have to be badass-ly different once again and post a story instead. ;) Mind, I haven't written anything this concrete for months, and I can tell I'm rusty in some areas. But despite all the optimism, I hope you enjoy it nevertheless. ;)

Disclaimer: Mine. Except for snow and Coke.

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Allie glanced at her watch before sweeping her gaze around the small, slightly deserted park, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. Maybe the people were already celebrating the last day of the year, drinking away their memories and recollections as a sign of welcoming the new year. She frowned a little, adjusting her glasses before spotting a figure lounging on the snow-ridden grass not too far away, auburn hair visible amongst the pure white surrounding it.

The brunette trudged over, gloved hands in pockets, her jacket enveloping her, wondering absent-mindedly if her redheaded friend was similarly bundled up. For all she knew, the girl had only thrown on a scarf and the first jacket she saw in her haste to get down here. A few more paces and Allie was looming over a small figure lying spread-eagled on the snow, thankfully covered head to toe in a thick, woolly jacket and boots, a bright green scarf covering nearly half her face as brown eyes twinkled back at her.

“’Sup, fairy princess?” Allie greeted, and plopped down beside her best friend, her bag behind her, smirking. She’d always thought the meaning of her name was completely contradictory to her slightly uncouth behaviour. Perhaps uncouth was a bit too strong; but she’d never seen her act fairy-like in the least.

“Shut up, noble and exalted one,” Shay retorted, her voice muffled by the scarf. She huffed, and pulled it down, before sticking a tongue out.

“Doesn’t beat fairy princess.” Allie rolled her eyes, smirking again. Their breaths came out in white puffs of air, winter at its finest. “Ready for another year, mate?”

Shay pushed herself up, and wrapped her arms around her knees, making her look fragile and vulnerable, unlike the near adult that she was. “I honestly don’t know. It’s like, I’m tempted to live in the memories, not because I’m so reluctant to leave them, but I wonder if... The new ones would be as memorable; as worthy to be created.”

The brunette snorted, not unkindly, and let out another puff of breath. “I get you. This year’s been... Well, it’s been a lot of things. You know?”

Her friend nodded. “I guess... It’s been crazy. We discovered our best-friend-ship thanks to a member of the monkey family, got addicted to Dekker, and never failed to get high on those cancerous yogurt sticks, among other things.” She laughed a little, a slight smirk pulling at her lips.

“Damn yogurt sticks.” Allie agreed, before laughing along. “And don’t forget, ma chérie, that you found something else too.” She winked, rolling her eyes at the innocent look Shay was pulling. “Does mushy, cheesy and sappy ring a bell?”

“Sorry, no bells on me.” Shay replied nonchalantly, a soft blush permeating her cheeks. “Shut up, dude.” She retorted when Allie started guffawing. “Gosh, I’m pathetic, aren’t I?”

The younger of the two smirked again, and answered, “Nah; you’ve just gone soft, is all. Like the princess you were meant to be.” At this, the smirk dissolved into giggles as Shay merely rolled her dark eyes, before picking up a handful of snow and flung it smack dab into her best friend’s face.

“Alright, peace! So touchy. Anyways,” Allie quickly put her hands up in surrender, sticking her tongue out at the snickering redhead. “Any new year’s resolutions, ma chérie?”

“Besides continuing to be a badass?” Shay raised an eyebrow, a slight smile on her lips now. “I don’t know, man. I’d probably come barrelling into the new year, all blunt and Gryffindor-like and whatnot. And no one ever completes their resolutions; it’s like, an excuse to have a purpose when you don’t know your own.”

Allie snorted again, before nodding in agreement. “Well, you can’t exactly blame them, I guess,” she replied simply. “But tomorrow’s the new year. Auld Lang Syne and all that. What do you think will happen?”

The slight smile on Shay’s face became a half-smirk, before it softened. “Aside from finally escaping the bonds of uniform and public exams?” The thought made her stomach tightened in fear and anticipation, but she pushed on. “A lot. That’s all I can say.”

Allie glanced at the redhead, her face filled with pensive thoughts, before grabbing her bag and rummaging through it, producing two bottles filled with sweet, dark liquid. “Never too late in the year for some Coke, I always say. Well, since today, at least,” she amended unashamedly, and handed one of the bottles to her grinning friend, whose short legs were crossed Indian-style as she sat up eagerly.

Both girls uncorked the bottles, and clinked them together as Allie said, “To a lot,” before gulping the drink heartily.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Since I'll be legal in less than 2 weeks and Christmas is ONLY 10 DAYS AFTER THAT...

This automatically gives me a right to post THIS up:

My 18^th-slash-Christmas Wish List 2010

NOTE: I KNOW I probably won't get almost everything, but a girl can dream, right?

ANYWAYS.

1) A New Laptop:

I'm sorry, but this has grown from a want, to an almost necessity. My current laptop (bless its decade old hard drive) constantly crashes, had woken up from a couple of comas and deserve its long awaited rest. Seriously. Plus. It's big and bulky and NOT something I'd bring to school unless necessary (like that time when I had my Lit mocks and all my notes were on-WAIT THAT WAS SHA'S LAPTOP. WHOOPS.)

2) An MP3 player/iPod/any easily portable device I can use to listen to music

I know, I know. There's that $36 MP3 in Yayasan somewhere; why not buy that? (Glares at Dad, before sighing in resignation) Ah well. Yes. I'd love one. Dearly. I would give you a big tight hug if you get me one. It is essential for the success of my education that I have one. TEEHEE.

THIS IS REALLY COOL.

3) A New Phone

Sadly, Mommy took back her (unknown and supposed) offer of buying me a C3 when she found out I got a D for my Math. Even after seeing me nab THREE trophies. AND an ICAS award. Sighs. So yeah. The current phone would probably last for about three months more at the rate I'm abusing it. HEHE. What's worse is that it's a slide phone and I've always had this dread that one day, one drop would just split it apart. O.O