Tell me Goodbye

Nearly 5 months since I've updated, and well, all I can say is...

I honestly thought nobody reads this anymore. Well, except for you, I guess, Mr. Slick. ;) Haha. I've been busy, definitely, but I've also, well, migrated.


Actually, I migrated about a year ago, but I thought I would still be able to commit to this old blog. Guess I'm human like that. And I've deleted the tagboard to make way for a new one here.

That's where you'll usually find me. ;) Not a lot of updates on my life, but I'm planning on rectifying that soon. Hehe. 

As for this; I'm not ready to let it go just yet, so this site will still be here for a while. Until then, see you on the other side.

When sorry was all she had.

A/N: It's unchecked, it's raw, and it was born out of a desire to really put some of these words to good use once more. =) By the way, I'm fine now. =) 

           “Get off the blasted couch and clean the dishes, for goodness’ sake! Do you LIKE hearing me shout constantly?!”

            “Well, to me, Hamlet’s hamartia, is not necessarily his hubris; rather, it is his inactive and passive aggressive behaviour that delays the…”

            “”’Cause this is my story; just the breaking of my heart;””

            “Work done is equals to force in Newton times acceleration…”

            “How the heck do you find the stupid area of this stupid shaded figure?!”

            “Gah, screw differentiation.”

            “Where’s Dad?”

            “”Light up, light up, even if you had no choice, even if you cannot hear my voice;””

            “If I were gay, would you break up with me?”

            “Dear God....”

            “”And no sky contains, no doubt restrains all You are, the greatness of our God;””

            “I didn’t mean it like that!”

            “Sorry =(…”

            Drooping eyes barely making out the words before her; she’s had quite enough of them, for once. She hasn’t any desire to read, despite it being her Achilles’ heel, and she’s feeling lifeless again. She hates going through all of that, because she doesn’t want to go through the pain of dying and the shallow breathing and the profoundly terrible ache in her chest and-

            Really, she’s had quite enough with words today. They’re just not adequate enough. Can’t encompass all of the expressions she’s desperate to let out. It’s taken too literally, and sometimes, just not literally enough.

            She wishes she could go on, because this isn’t enough; it’s too brief, it barely skims the surface, it’s too wide open for interpretation.

            Yet she can’t, because all of her words; they’re taken away from her. Pulled, snatched, ripped from her mouth, her mind, her plastered heart, and she’s got nothing left, when all she ever had were words.

While I brood over Hamlet;

So.

I guess the whole nation is very much aware of the fact that, well, results are out. For O Levels, AS and A2 Levels. That sounds weird, but never mind. And over the past nearly 24 hours, there has been breakdowns, tears of joy, sorrow, regret, rage and probably plain ol' disappoinment and gratitude have been shed. Curses have been uttered, praises accompany them. It's surreal seeing this again. Jolts you into remembering what the future holds; or rather, not knowing what it's got in its hands.

And where do I stand? I guess I expected my results, but didn't exactly expect it as well. I can't say I've done my best; I've probably done worse than ever, in terms of my standards, what's expected of me. But I'm grateful I didn't literally bomb any of them; except for Math, probably. HAHA. Ah well. You wouldn't need Math for either English Studies or Journalism, would you?

I'd probably need a B to get a freaking scholarship, though. Ugh. Hauling ass in order to ace (or not bomb the thing anymore) Math commences.... When I've got my schedule in order and my homework done. Mwahaha. Sometime this week, if all goes well and I've pulled my head out of the pretty clouds and nonexistent rainbows.

Scary. All of it. It's scary. So unclear.

Hamlet and his failure to pull-his-head-out-of-his-butt-to-kill-his-uncle-for-murdering-his-father pales by comparison, honestly. So suck on that, mate.

In the club;

I guess planning way too early, conjuring something way too fixed... Probably isn't a good idea, in retrospect.

When Ches mentioned the policy about UBD regarding its employees (specifically, lecturers), his wasn't the only plan that, well, had some leaks in it. I've had a clear idea of where I want to go, what I want to be, when I was much younger, back when peers still wonder if Economics is more fun than Business Studies or if POA was easier than, say, Computing. Immerse myself in English, be awesome at it, go to UBD, get a scholarship somewhere along the way overseas and come back and work in UBD before I study for PhD again.

I guess life's never as clear-cut as that.

Maybe it's fortunate I hear about it now, before I leave sixth form and become stranded with no place to go, no back-up plan, no idea what God actually has in store for me.

Dad's been giving me some ideas, and it's definitely something I'd like to explore; journalism and editing, I mean. Writing, expressing my opinions, making sure the articles have good English. ;P But I still like to talk; make people see just how cool and complex and imperfect and relevant the language is today. Thus why I don't want to be stuck being a mere teacher in a high school.

Maybe the fact that I want to do something different than them has a pretty big influence in that as well.

I don't know, honestly. All I can do right now is pray some more, trust Him just a little bit more, and do my own part.

Gaggle of people who've no concrete idea what they want to be and are severely running out of time; meet your newest recruit.

I want a Husky. This is Shan Wee's fault. =(

Look at it. It's SO CUTE.

And them!

2011 had a very hectic start; I'm hoping it isn't an omen for the entire year. God (and a whole load of other people) knows just how freaking swamped I was last year with everything. =S If I even bother with making new year resolutions, I'd say being less busy would be among the top three things on the list. But yeah; had the whole PWM thing at CHMS on the 8th (third year for me, methinks) and thank the good Lord that everything went really well for both the caroling and handmime team. =D

Besides that; the school has accepted the Cohort 1 students (January intake) and these poor souls get to get a head start on their education for Lower Six! Oh the joy it brings forth. I started school in January, and I was almost sobbing (not literally, but almost, hence the word almost) for an extension of the holidays. Sighs.

AND THEN, we welcomed (not really, but it's the truth) the Cohort 2 guys and girls and, well, it's been crazy exhausting. I mean, I get tired easily, but the past few days (especially the first few days when they came like hordes of bees) were literally enough to make me fall dead asleep every night. Not that I don't appreciate it. HAHA. 

I look REALLY fair here. Sighs. Wish I really was. T.T

Din! The only guy in school that dares to punch (no, not physically maim) me, I think. HAHAHA. Next to Jeremy. =P

SO difficult finding a picture with the juniors in it. =.=" HAHAHAHA!

Choir.

Such an awesomedary club. =') (Isaac and Dan, if you read this, know that I use this invented word in the best of ways. ;P)

BABI FACE!

Cohort 2's program is STILL ongoing (2 weeks T.T) and AS results would be out soon! =S Sighs. Freaking nervous. But whatever I get, I give it to God. =) Couldn't, wouldn't have done everything without You. 

Besides that; homework's been piling up but HOPEFULLY I'll get to drop EAS and get TWO PS blocks! =D So I can study/revise/play around/work during one and sleep during the other. HEHE. Watched Step Up 3 today! =D Didn't finish because I had to go home early, but yeah. And yes, everyone's said this, but I am in awe of their mad skills. Freakishly mad skills. Robot Man was the best. =D

The SAME exact poster they used for the movie in the LT! =D

His red glasses makes him look like a cyborg. SO cool. =B

Aside from all that, I guess there's nothing more I could type about, honestly.