Back to.. Everything, really.

    It's been a week since the second term holidays ended, and it feels exactly as if a week's gone by. Maybe less, but it feels longer somehow. Maybe I've just been too busy? Haha. I think I've to get used to sleeping less than six hours per night every night now. New responsibilities, more sacrifices. Same old story. More wishes of how I could drive already. Hehehe. I mean, honestly. If it's the same old problem of transport, I hope it'll all be resolved by this time next year. =S HAHAHA. But really. Sighs.

    Anyways. Had MPP stuff last Thursday and Saturday, and it really reminded me of the days in MS, back in Form 4 and earlier this year. The rush, the chaos, the frustration, and really, sometimes I dunno why I joined all the fun again in PTEK, but. I liked it. The chaos, the rush, the frustration, everything. Okay, not EVERYTHING, but I find amusement in odd and bizarre ways. HEHE. >=) And I miss doing announcements! Haha! I like the PA system at PTEK. SO cool. =D Hehehehe. I wouldn't mind doing announcements more. Mehehehehehehe. =P  Missed a couple of classes on Saturday, but it's all good. Hahaha.

    And then there was T.U.G in the afternoon, which was.. A bit disorganised, but still good. I wished I could've play Human Foosball (sp? =S). Really looked like loads of fun. D= Hehehehehe. Never mind. Next time. >=) HAHA. And I am SO not throwing away those flags. SOO sayang. =S I spent two nights working until after midnight for them. =S HAHAHA.

    I cut my hair too. HAHAHA. SO many mixed reactions. =P Hehehe.

    We went back to Tutong yesterday, since it was my grandpa's third death anniversary or something like that. It didn't feel that long though. But somehow it seemed longer as well, as if it happened eons ago but I still can remember. I'm just upset I don't remember as much as I should, as I want to. I'm upset I practically didn't talk to him at all. That all I have to remember of him is his shuffling gait, the way he and my Dad could talk for hours on end, and how he'd smile a nearly toothless grin whenever we salam-ed his wrinkled, shaky hand. To think I could've, would've, should've, but didn't. Is it possible to miss someone you barely knew? That you never really talked to? That you wished you could've done more for?

    I guess it IS possible, because I really do miss you, Ni. 80 years. You didn't even get to see any of your grandchildren get married. You didn't even get to see every one of your kids get married, get more kids to fill the old house. Heck, you didn't even get to see the old house being renovated.

   I'm glad the family's still strong together, though. We're all far from perfect, but as corny as it sounds, we've still got each other. And I'm grateful for that; for the fact that I've still got aunties and uncles and crazy, amazing cousins and it reminds me of old times when we used to run around in the yard, chasing each other and being naive and blissfully ignorant.

    I guess I outgrew that phase; too fast, maybe. Maybe that's why I didn't spend more time with you. Maybe me being too busy chasing my dreams made me forget. Or maybe I just didn't try hard enough.

    I wonder what would happen if I did.