Friday, December 31, 2010

To the last.

A/N: Since everyone's writing a review or posting pictures for the last day of the year, I guess I'll just have to be badass-ly different once again and post a story instead. ;) Mind, I haven't written anything this concrete for months, and I can tell I'm rusty in some areas. But despite all the optimism, I hope you enjoy it nevertheless. ;)

Disclaimer: Mine. Except for snow and Coke.

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            Allie glanced at her watch before sweeping her gaze around the small, slightly deserted park, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. Maybe the people were already celebrating the last day of the year, drinking away their memories and recollections as a sign of welcoming the new year. She frowned a little, adjusting her glasses before spotting a figure lounging on the snow-ridden grass not too far away, auburn hair visible amongst the pure white surrounding it.

            The brunette trudged over, gloved hands in pockets, her jacket enveloping her, wondering absent-mindedly if her redheaded friend was similarly bundled up. For all she knew, the girl had only thrown on a scarf and the first jacket she saw in her haste to get down here. A few more paces and Allie was looming over a small figure lying spread-eagled on the snow, thankfully covered head to toe in a thick, woolly jacket and boots, a bright green scarf covering nearly half her face as brown eyes twinkled back at her.

            “’Sup, fairy princess?” Allie greeted, and plopped down beside her best friend, her bag behind her, smirking. She’d always thought the meaning of her name was completely contradictory to her slightly uncouth behaviour. Perhaps uncouth was a bit too strong; but she’d never seen her act fairy-like in the least.

            “Shut up, noble and exalted one,” Shay retorted, her voice muffled by the scarf. She huffed, and pulled it down, before sticking a tongue out.

            “Doesn’t beat fairy princess.” Allie rolled her eyes, smirking again. Their breaths came out in white puffs of air, winter at its finest. “Ready for another year, mate?”

            Shay pushed herself up, and wrapped her arms around her knees, making her look fragile and vulnerable, unlike the near adult that she was. “I honestly don’t know. It’s like, I’m tempted to live in the memories, not because I’m so reluctant to leave them, but I wonder if... The new ones would be as memorable; as worthy to be created.”

            The brunette snorted, not unkindly, and let out another puff of breath. “I get you. This year’s been... Well, it’s been a lot of things. You know?”

            Her friend nodded. “I guess... It’s been crazy. We discovered our best-friend-ship thanks to a member of the monkey family, got addicted to Dekker, and never failed to get high on those cancerous yogurt sticks, among other things.” She laughed a little, a slight smirk pulling at her lips.

            “Damn yogurt sticks.” Allie agreed, before laughing along. “And don’t forget, ma chérie, that you found something else too.” She winked, rolling her eyes at the innocent look Shay was pulling. “Does mushy, cheesy and sappy ring a bell?”

            “Sorry, no bells on me.” Shay replied nonchalantly, a soft blush permeating her cheeks. “Shut up, dude.” She retorted when Allie started guffawing. “Gosh, I’m pathetic, aren’t I?”

            The younger of the two smirked again, and answered, “Nah; you’ve just gone soft, is all. Like the princess you were meant to be.” At this, the smirk dissolved into giggles as Shay merely rolled her dark eyes, before picking up a handful of snow and flung it smack dab into her best friend’s face.

            “Alright, peace! So touchy. Anyways,” Allie quickly put her hands up in surrender, sticking her tongue out at the snickering redhead. “Any new year’s resolutions, ma chérie?”

            “Besides continuing to be a badass?” Shay raised an eyebrow, a slight smile on her lips now. “I don’t know, man. I’d probably come barrelling into the new year, all blunt and Gryffindor-like and whatnot. And no one ever completes their resolutions; it’s like, an excuse to have a purpose when you don’t know your own.”

            Allie snorted again, before nodding in agreement. “Well, you can’t exactly blame them, I guess,” she replied simply. “But tomorrow’s the new year. Auld Lang Syne and all that. What do you think will happen?”

            The slight smile on Shay’s face became a half-smirk, before it softened. “Aside from finally escaping the bonds of uniform and public exams?” The thought made her stomach tightened in fear and anticipation, but she pushed on. “A lot. That’s all I can say.”

            Allie glanced at the redhead, her face filled with pensive thoughts, before grabbing her bag and rummaging through it, producing two bottles filled with sweet, dark liquid. “Never too late in the year for some Coke, I always say. Well, since today, at least,” she amended unashamedly, and handed one of the bottles to her grinning friend, whose short legs were crossed Indian-style as she sat up eagerly.

            Both girls uncorked the bottles, and clinked them together as Allie said, “To a lot,” before gulping the drink heartily.      

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Since I'll be legal in less than 2 weeks and Christmas is ONLY 10 DAYS AFTER THAT...

This automatically gives me a right to post THIS up:

My 18th-slash-Christmas Wish List 2010

NOTE: I KNOW I probably won't get almost everything, but a girl can dream, right? 

ANYWAYS.

1) A New Laptop:

          I'm sorry, but this has grown from a want, to an almost necessity. My current laptop (bless its decade old hard drive) constantly crashes, had woken up from a couple of comas and deserve its long awaited rest. Seriously. Plus. It's big and bulky and NOT something I'd bring to school unless necessary (like that time when I had my Lit mocks and all my notes were on-WAIT THAT WAS SHA'S LAPTOP. WHOOPS.)



2) An MP3 player/iPod/any easily portable device I can use to listen to music

I know, I know. There's that $36 MP3 in Yayasan somewhere; why not buy that? (Glares at Dad, before sighing in resignation) Ah well. Yes. I'd love one. Dearly. I would give you a big tight hug if you get me one. It is essential for the success of my education that I have one. TEEHEE.


THIS IS REALLY COOL.


3) A New Phone

Sadly, Mommy took back her (unknown and supposed) offer of buying me a C3 when she found out I got a D for my Math. Even after seeing me nab THREE trophies.  AND an ICAS award. Sighs. So yeah. The current phone would probably last for about three months more at the rate I'm abusing it. HEHE. What's worse is that it's a slide phone and I've always had this dread that one day, one drop would just split it apart. O.O


4) The Whole Set Of The Harry Potter Series

Enough said.


5) Cool Stationery

I LOVE cool stationery. HAHAHA. I sound like a retard, but I do. Stickers, colour pens cute little binder animal figures things. 



6) Bags

I'm a girl. This reason shall prevail for the next few things.



7) Tank tops


I like the one on the second from the right. ;D


8) Dresses

It's SO difficult to find dresses I actually like, after all. D= HAHAHA.



9) Colourful Socks

Don't tell me you've never wanted a pair or two! =O



10) Cash

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


11) Credit

Remember last year, Rach? ;) HEHEHEHE.


11) Funky jewellery

Which girl doesn't? Okay, I just realized that sounds EXTREMELY discriminatory, so ignore it. HEHE. I DO.

        


12) Ted Dekker's books

Yes, I've mentioned this before. HAHAHAHA. I'd love to get my hands on a Dekker book someday. Prefereably this one. Ah well.


13) Frank Peretti's books

I've heard of the Darkness books from our very own Sammy Slick, and they sound really, really cool. Hehe.


This wouldn't hurt too badly either.


14) Nail polish

Come to think of it, I don't think I've painted my nails before. O.O Well, I can't remember, anyways. HAHAHAHAHA.


CUTE! Not the colour, the shape. HAHAHAHA.

15) A Super Huge Dollhouse

I'm serious. I asked my Dad once when I was 16 and he went, "Grow up." Only, in a nicer, fatherly way.



16) A Hard Disk/ Big Memory Pendrive

I do. I need this. T.T



17) An Idiot's Guide To Learning Guitar Scales

WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA.


(For the record, there is only one God. ;) And He rocks.)


18) Happy Time With The Loved Ones <3

Just to unwind. Relax and just talk and joke and tease.


I heart this picture very much. <3



I LOVE YOU TOO, SHA DONGSAENG! <3


Child Welfare Service! (It's System, actually, but yeah. HAHAHAHA. Gosh...) *HUGS* <3 ;) HAHAHAHAHA!


<3. =)

P.S. Shan Wee and Qeel; we REALLY need to take more pictures together. Sighs. T.T HAHAHAHA.

And that's EIGHTEEN THINGS I want for my Eighteenth and Christmas! =D

P.S. I'll probably edit the colour font for fun when I'm not too busy. HEHE.






Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Since the laptop fails..

And fails VERY BADLY..

This is for you, dude. ;)



Thursday, November 18, 2010

Sometimes...

I forget. I forget that sometimes, other people don't want to be treated the way I'd like to be treated. Sometimes I forget that I'm not like other people. Sometimes I forget that I'm probably not the best representative for everyone. That I like deciphering things. I like guessing things right. I like knowing things without being told outright. I like feeling like I'm not troubling someone to explain something to me. That their effort wouldn't be wasted on me.

I guess... I've been assuming too much.

To be different is a privilege; to be different from so many others is an affliction one bears with a fragile pride.

And so... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being assumptive. I'm sorry; I'm still learning, still trying to get a good grade in this. Trouble is, I can't seem to determine my scores at all.

Friday, November 5, 2010

I'm running out of things to say.

Could this be the demise of another blog, you say?


No, not really. For now, at least.


Life's been getting slightly... Repetitive, I guess. No, not falling into a rut, thank God. Maybe things are starting to look more familiar again, just with brighter strokes of the paintbrush and bigger words in the story. And I don't mind things being a little different this time round, maybe. It's a little scary, but life is terrifying, when it comes down to bits and things.


So anyways, I'm done with all my exams. NOT. I've two more papers to go through next Wednesday and Friday, and I'll be free. Relatively. But now I'm not so excited. =S Dear God, hopefully things go alright. *scrunches face and closes eyes tight in hope*


But yeah. Screw that for now.


Been going to school just for Socio for the past two weeks or so, but that's gonna change soon, I guess. Starting Math again, tomorrow, maybe. EURGH. Yeah, that is the verbal equivalent of my distaste for said subject. Yech. Sighs. Yeah, I'm at least learning something and all that, but really, Math? 


Did I ever mention how I don't really like window shopping? No? Well, I don't. Not really. But one DOES get tempted when one sees something like this:









I don't care if I sound biased or not, but I LOVE Gryffindor's dress. SO CUTE. And Ravenclaw's boots. I kinda like Slytherin's coat too. And Hufflepuff's cute lil' ring thing. HEHE. By the way, the picture doesn't belong to me. (A) Was just borrowing for some fun. Hehe.


Anyways. It got me onto a string of sites and-I'll stop. Wouldn't wanna embarrass myself any further. =3


So basically, today was a waste of time. Well, most of my time was wasted online, even tonight, but it's okay.



Crap, I haven't even touched my Socio homework.

Friday, October 29, 2010

I'm officially a bimbo. So yeah.

HAHA. I woke up this morning (yes, 11am is STILL morning, can't you see the am at the back?) and showered and stuff, before taking my Mom's laptop and GASP!


ALL MY STUFF WERE GONE!

So I panicked, told some people about it (as in personally; Twitter don't count) and I had actually devised a plan (somewhat) to retrieve my songs, my Student Council things and *sobs* my songs, when out of the blue..

Daddy entered the room. With a new haircut. HAHA.



I don't have a picture of him in the haircut though. Sighs. Ah well. This'll have to do.

Anyways!

He did some thingy majiggy and BOOM! Everything was back! Even my Mom's wallpaper of her and Dad! HAHAHAHA!

Thus is a morning in the life of Sherly.


Friday, October 22, 2010

What have I been up to?

A little mischief, certainly, but all's good. =D


Teehee. But yeah. I'm freakin' done with AS SOCIO, BABY! Sigh. The elation that I feel though, cannot be compared to the day when I will be officially done with Math. Statistics, to be more specific. Hey, that sort of rhymed! 3rd November, mark my words. I'd either have a big crap-eating grin throughout the whole day, or just faint from the exhilaration of it all. HAHA. I like using big words. Well, not so big, but slightly larger than average. =3


Anyways!


My Socio paper was on.. Monday afternoon, yes. Hahaha. Whoops. ()=) Hehe. But yeah. My next paper's on Tuesday, I think, and it's EAS 1, which, hopefully, wouldn't be too difficult.





"Pffft, Sherly. You? English? Difficult? That's like saying I'm thin!" HAHA. Sorry Dal, was just teasing. =3 By the way, you're SO not as fat as you think (say, exclaim, declare) you are. =)

The past two weeks or so have been spent mostly in the Student Council Room-and lemme get this out of the way before I get teary-eyed and stuff; I will SO miss this room when we get evicted. Like seriously; how are we gonna adapt ourselves to the outside world once again?! D=-revising, bumming around, and generally just having a lot of fun with some of the Council members. Hehehe.


Like everyone else, I like this picture the best too. =3 Speaks for itself, it does.

Hehe. Pigged out a lot this week as well; thanks to Lynnie for the ice-cream (and chocolate rice, which I devoured absent-mindedly BUT didn't even get remotely high, probably not potent enough) and ourselves for the bright idea of having Jollibee for lunch one day. Which we did. Yesterday. And I had my beef cheeseburger fix, as well as DQ. <3 Hehehe. Ate like, 4 cones of ice-cream but I didn't get sick! WHOO. Poor Chynna though. =3 TEEHEE. I don't think I'll be eating as much ice-cream in the near future, though. That was really a bit too much, even for someone with a sweet tooth like myself.

I'd have a picture of the boy band too, but alas, we've yet to take one together. Or a name. Wait; didn't Dal come up with something?

My memory is haphazard at times, forgive me.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I know I'm supposed to be cramming for Socio...

... And yet here I am.

I can't bring myself to concentrate, to remember Durkheim and Prout and James and Oakley and James Patrick and Mary McIntosh and Paul Willis and Kingsley Davis and-

The past couple of weeks were... Slightly chaotic, in a sense. It wasn't like I wasn't used to the pandemonium. I've been a student for more than a freaking decade, for heaven's sake. Exams and stress are like, a natural component of my life, even more so now. No, it was more like.. It was as if my thoughts decided to stop being numb and assault me mindlessly, pulling me in directions I didn't know I was capable of going.

Maybe it was due to the fact that I've been constantly told that I'm almost an adult, almost there, almost joining the terrifying world of adulthood. But funny thing was, I've been told this ever since I hit puberty. So does that mean the effect's gone? The so-called excitement and exhilaration of being called an adult, has it faded away?

Of course not. I'm not an idiot.

Just because I'm not working yet doesn't mean my innocence, my ignorance wasn't robbed long, long ago. Heck, I actually DID work before this. And no, it wasn't a family business whatever.

Where was I?

Ah. Being reminded of my entrance into adulthood constantly. Pretty soon, I'll be walking through those gates that so many have walked through, and wonder how far I'll go, how much I'll be able to handle, how deep I'll be strong enough to unearth.

And I wonder again, how much different it will look like seeing things from the other side of the wall.


I remember selling my extra stationery as a kid, just to earn some money to buy the food from the school canteen, so I had to take care of my only two pencils and one eraser and ruler and not lose them if I didn't want to risk my mother's wrath. And then I sold food with little toys in it as I grew older and met those who missed their childhood almost as much as I did and earned some more money. I remember feeling independent and proud, because then I wasn't troubling anyone. I was naive in thinking I'd help everyone, and to an extent, I did. But maybe, maybe I was the one who chipped away some more of that innocence that was hardly me.


And soon, pretty soon, I'll be let loose on the roads. More responsibilities. More expectations. More failures. More successes. Everything doubles, triples in size.

The mantle that I bear grows heavier with each passing day, and only through His grace that the yoke is bearable enough for me to go through today, tomorrow, another day. I'm not Supergirl. I've no cape, and kryptonite does nothing to me, but so many things less powerful brings me to my knees.

I can't be anyone's saviour. I'm not strong enough. I'm not kind enough. I'm not brave enough. I'm not selfless enough.

Let Someone else play the hero of the story.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

It is POSSIBLE! =D

As a tribute to our dear own Sammy Slick, I have finally mustered the effort (not that it required much) to find out HOW on earth do you exactly change a blog address and.. 


Voilà!


New blog address! And yes, I Googled the word to get the exact spelling. I'm paranoid like that. =D


Anyways! Exams have been ruling my life; not really, but yeah. Been having exams since last week, actually, and I only have Math Mocks before the real thing overwhelms me (again, not really) in.. GASP! Two weeks! =O


Owh dear. No, I did not consume any Coke, you stereotypical people. Please. As if I need a fizzy drink to get high. Or fart. HEHE.


Nah. I just did 4 essays today, and the equivalent of 10 pages. Would have probably done more, except that I keep running out of ideas by the time I hit the 2-page mark when there's about 45 minutes left to go, and I meant that when I'd already finished both questions. Sighs. Sucks being a fast writer, sometimes. Especially when you've been staring at the words for the past 10 minutes and there's still about half an hour to go while everyone's frantically adding more points, scribbling more words and generally panicking about their answers. Sighs. I feel like such a dude sometimes.


Had Socio first of all, last Wednesday, and a bombshell was dropped onto our laps as we crammed Durkheim's theories and Ann Oakley's many feminist views into our heads, announcing our paper 2, which was previously supposed to be yesterday, was moved to the day after our first paper. Sighs. Poor us.


Oh, did I mention we had to write 2 essays for the first paper and 2 data responses for the second one? Yeah, fun that.


But I'd rather go through all that than Math this Monday though. Heh. Yes, my utter dislike for the subject is certainly palpable enough for you to notice. Thank you for sniggering.


ANYWAYS.


Thank God for Korean songs. At least I can't exactly sing along to them while I'm cramming for my exams. Yet. D= Although Brian Joo's cover of Jason Derulo's In My Head was playing nearly the whole time during Lit...




Ah well. I shall go off now and do other stuff more worthwhile than talking about exams and whatnot.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Open Wounds

A/N: So, I've come up with something angst-filled again. Thank the dear monthly friend for that. And several other factors, but oh well. It's been a while since I wrote something this.. Dark? Emotional? So it was slightly unsettling, which was unnerving in itself. You could say it's practice for EAS, but yes. Hehe. Lemme know what you think, assuming you didn't suffocate yourself from depression after reading this. =P


Disclaimer: As always, mine. Somewhat inspired by Open Wounds, which isn't mine but Skillet's. Other than that, mine. Anyone/thing even attempting to steal or borrow without my permission will suffer from the evisceration of their most prized parts.


            It’s your breathing that captures your attention first. Ragged, struggling for calm; each intake of breath is longer, more drawn out than the last, a desperate undertone beneath each of them, stronger every time. You dislike it, dislike how little control you have over yourself. Too inconsistent, too unpredictable. Too weak for you.

            Your eyes stare before you, not taking in anything, beyond caring of your surroundings. They’re lighter than mud, but they’re still slightly murky, marred in imperfection and they don’t dart left and right; you don’t let them. You don’t like what little control you have, how much you struggle against showing panic, showing disagreement; showing resentment.

            Mouth set in a line, face expressionless except for a small, fake grimace that barely passes off as a smile, you walk amongst them seemingly without intention; yet your purpose is clear in your mind. Don’t break. Don’t you dare bloody break.

            Their voices, you know it’s not in your head. They’re real, and you detest its reality. You don’t hate the voices themselves; you can’t. You’re not allowed to, and you won’t cross the limits because your own conscience won’t let you, flawed as it is. The droning, the high-pitched squeals and the unwomanly guffaws envelope you, encasing you in a bind you’re unable to, desperate to escape.

            Your body sags, exhausted at the façade you keep up, drained from the emotions you bottle. It’s unhealthy, they say, but they’re not you, are they? They don’t walk in your cheap, knock-off shoes, they don’t face the lies, the delicate layers upon the truth, hear those voices again and again. They’re not breathing hard like you are, their eyes aren’t dilated with the effort to look and not stare instead, nor are their hands jerky, constraining themselves from clenching them into cold fists.

            Fury and despise are your foremost emotions; calm and terrifying, threatening to take over you, control you, own you. Deprived of your desire and wants, your self-destruction is close, too close. It’s them who instilled these emotions, the owners of those slightly familiar, happy, taunting voices. They who slash at you and leave the wounds open, bleeding, yet invisible to their own eyes. Perhaps they aren’t aware of it, but they’re not you, are they?

            You detest the pain constricting your heart, even more hurtful than those unseen wounds. It squeezes, tighter as you gasp for more air; it feeds on your desperation, your fear and want of the vague familiar fading into a stranger before you.

            Revelation slaps you soundly in the face as you realize just how much you want the vaguely familiar to disappear completely. You need them to become strangers, to look at you without any ounce of recognition, because it’s that close, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter which one’s thicker; there’s always something better. That’s what everyone says, right? That’s what the world, the cruel, sick world whispers into every unwilling ear.

            At last you’re granted the key out of the bind they keep you in; but you realize there is more than one lock on it, and the key only fits in one. Your mind screams in frustration and agony even as the grip around you is loosened, even as the key is grabbed from you and you’re as helpless as you were before. Even an animal in a cage is able to prowl around in it, while the most you could do is take large a lungful of air every now and then, careful not to overdo it.

            All you ever wanted to do was run away, but nothing’s ever easy, is it?   

A/N: So.. Not depressed yet? If so, comments are welcome. =) 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Home sweet home, soon enough.

I don't know about everyone else, but it feels real good to be back home, albeit not in my bed just yet, but I always get a little homesick, whether it's just a weekend getaway, or a week. I think it was worst during my YLS trip, but it was manageable, with great company and just taking time away to reflect on everything.


Anyways!


Been away from Brunei for 5 days, on account of the LIKAS Truth or Dare Conference, and it was the first time yours truly has ever set foot in Sabah, let alone Kota Kinabalu itself. The bus ride was... Interesting, for the most part. Hehe. There was a bump or two along the road, but thank the Lord nothing bad really happened. The traffic sort of slowed us down, but again, we got to the condotel in one piece. I'm still doubting whether that's an actual word or not, but owh well. HAHA. Neways; was assigned a room with the sister and the female Puspasanan, along with the young couples and their adorable, yet loud kids. O=) This in turn sort of made us not make so much noise, so it was a pretty quiet apartment during our stay there, all in all. Not that we got to see it much except for the mornings and brief afternoon showers and when we were too exhausted to do anything but sleep at night.


The days consisted of waking up early for breakfast, rehearsals and just getting familiar with the layout of the venue for the concert and the talent show, although things sort of didn't go according to plan and crashing late at night after debriefings and such.


Anyways; the stage was pretty cool, I'd admit. Lights of every colour and the thumping of the bass just made it all the more intoxicating. But like I said, things didn't really happen the way we planned.


The weather was horrible on the evening of the concert; it was literally as if the gates of heaven were open and letting down torrents of rain from above. We prayed fervently, but God probably had other plans, and so the concert was moved indoors, and they who didn't know Him had their first opportunity to enter His house for the very first time, which was pretty cool.


Something else that happened was that our set got abruptly cut, and admittedly we were upset; 6 weeks of hard work had seemingly gone to waste. But in retrospect, it actually fit well with the program for the night. The youths came to know the love of Jesus, and some gave their lives over to Christ during the impromptu change in plans, and that was what we came there for in the first place.


Didn't mean we'd let six weeks of practice go to waste though. ;)


The next night was more.. Tense, for some reason. But everything went well this time; we managed to utilize the outdoor stage, and all its flashy lights, which made everyone felt sort of giddy and sakai. Hehe. The talent show featured some great performances by the local youth, and it sort of made me crave for a good old GMB rockout session. HAHA! We also got to perform the rest of our set before the results were revealed, and yes, I messed up the intro chords badly. =S HAHA. My brain sort of zoned out on me from exhaustion and, yeah. Hehe. (A) Apparently no one heard it though, so it's all good. Mehe.


The rest of trip was filled with meals, a few shopping sessions (unsatisfying, but just enough), and swimming (for some) and gym-ing (for others) and naps (for the rest). Hehe. I had Burger King for the first time ever! HAHA. It's good, yes. I thought the burgers were bigger; as in, the normal ones. =P But it was delicious and satisfying enough. =D Now, Subway next! HAHA.


The bus ride home was smoother; lesser stops as well. We only stopped in Limbang for lunch, and I remember why I prefer Sugar Bun compared to KFC there. Heh. Other than that, the journey home was alright. Slept some of the way, tried to during the rest but failed. Ah well.


Finally touched down at St. Andrew's Cathedral (I mean, Church *snickers*) at about 5pm in the afternoon and again, it's good to be back.




Thursday, September 2, 2010

Of kindness, chaos and all the irrelevant stuff.


I'm super happy I got to skip school today. =D It's been too long since I've been able to snuggle in bed until noon. Sigh. In retrospect, it might not have been the best decision, but when you're sick of getting up so friggin' early and collapsing at night due to mental and physical exhaustion, I don't suppose you'd much rather do anything else but lie down in bed for extended periods of time.




Anyways. Holidays are HERE!

But it wouldn't be much of a holiday, as usual. Haha. I mean, really. The only holidays I usually get to enjoy being a couch potato (or bed potato, whatever) are the December holidays. That is, besides Christmas Carolling, visiting or inevitable chores. And That's usually the case, anyways. Oh! And writing. Gosh, I miss writing. =( I haven't been able to do it as much as I'd like to, and I know I'm severely out of practice. T.T Sighs. Who'd ever thought?

But yes. Hopefully I won't totally lose it.

I'm psyched for the upcoming holidays. Nervous, anxious too. Haha. And exams are right after the holidays, which means.. Not so much downtime in the midst of the hustle and bustle. Even if I can concentrate anyways. Mostly worried about my Math, and Lit. And Socio. Yeah, I'm worried about everything. There's.. A lot to remember, sink in and there's not a lot of time to cram everything I know in my already cramped brain. I'm just hoping my grades are good enough so I won't have to take June's again. Meh.

On another note, I'd SO hug anyone who'd get me this for a birthday or Christmas present. =D





The reviews, the book trailer.. Gosh, this has gotten me (and many, many others) friggin' impatient for its contents. Ted Dekker has to be one of my favourite authors, of all time. I know I'm gushing like a fangirl, but his books are amazing. Really. This book down here started it all.





Teehee. Owh! And these two books would be very greatly appreciated as well. =D






One of the best Christmas pressies I can imagine. 8) Besides my own laptop. And guitar effects, but yeah. Hehe.

And until here. I haven't done any studying at all today and I'm supposed to be looking up Socio past year questions and slaving over Math past year papers. Sighs. Until next time, then.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Guided by hope.

It's been a while, hasn't it?


Anyways. Life has been hectic busy chaotic... Rather strenuous, actually. A myriad of beehives-humming and buzzing in one's ear. And everywhere else, really. And I already feel like a (cute!) tiny old grandma, stooped and staring at everything that's bigger and brighter than I am. And I might have mentioned this before, but I'd so go for a full body massage right now; I've got kinks and knots in places I bet forty-year-old women would never even possess. O.O Sighs. Christmas gift, anyone?


School has been.. Alright, I guess. Haven't lost the will to study, as of yet, and for that I'm really glad. Math is.. An exception, but I'll get around to it eventually. Mehe. On the bright side, I finished going through one whole unit of Sociology in 5 days! =D AND I went through about 5 or 6 poems. Heh. I did a few questions on Math, but that was it. =S Gosh. And mocks are in 4 weeks? Not too far away. @.@


And I've had many, many practices for the past two weeks. My head's constantly filled with chords and actions and counts, and it gets annoying, really. To the point where I can't sleep at night because I'm always thinking, always remembering, and I'm a cranky zombie the next day at school. The shadows underneath my eyes are getting darker, and my grey hair are now white and abundant. Highlights, I ask you. Sighs.


When 12.11.10 finally rolls around, I'll be the happiest girl alive for this year alone.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Just gonna stand there and watch;

So.

I don't feel like blogging about how my week was, because it was crazy hectic as usual and I don't feel like being usual today. I don't even feel like thinking back how the week went, not because it was that bad, but because it flew in a blur, yet it felt long and stretched, just like how I feel right now. Stretched and limp. I wonder when I'll reach that point when I've gone over my elasticity and I'm just standing limply because I can't stretch backwards anymore.

I've always wondered what's on the other end of a rainbow.

I want my old fringe back. It was easier to keep a poker face back then.

I haven't done any cross-stitching in ages. It was.. Too tedious. Too meticulous. I liked the outcome, the sense of pride and relief, but I guess I just haven't got the patience. Nor the time.

I've always wanted to go to Ireland. Hear the accent for real; maybe even buy a leprechaun's hat for a memento or something.

I've to get new strings for my guitar. Heh.

I wanna go shopping. To be able to buy without worrying if it's too expensive, or if I've bought too much. I wanna clean out my wardrobe and get some new things. New shirts, new skirts, new dresses; heck, bring on the new underwear, I say.

I miss writing. A lot.

I miss just being.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

HALLO AH.

Hehehe. Sorry about the title; the friend has reared its ugly head once again and I am forced to expostulate my randomness in some other way. =D


Anyways; I don't wanna be here for long. I've been here for too long already, so yeah. HAHA. I was just going through a friend's blog and I found this.


When you're at that stage where you're going to face the crossroads of your life, you don't overlook something like this easily. Even if it's some questionnaire; a social construction of the simplest kind. But hey, a desperado does what she can, no?


So anyways. If you still haven't clicked that link, it's a sort of questionnaire to determine which courses would suit your interests the best. It's UCAS, by the way, so some of the courses would probably not be available here. Just saying. Hehe.


After careful deliberation, the site has concluded that my suitable courses would be:


1. International Studies
2. Education
3. English/Literary Studies
4. Communication
5. Ancient History
6. Drama/Theatrical
7. Philosophy &Theology
8. Media/Radio/TV/Film
9. Psychology


This.. Is not unusual. HAHAHA. Yeaps. No Science, whatsoever. =D So yes. I already know I wanna be, anyways, sort of. This was just for fun. And for the sake of doing it. =P


Like I said, this is a short one. And I shall end now. Nights, peeps.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

An attempt; to be.

A/N: It's been a while. =) Since we haven't done monologues in EAS yet, I decided to give it a try. Lemme know what you think.


Disclaimer: Mine. Anyone/thing even attempting to steal shall be haunted in their dreams by flying lizards and ten-foot spiders.

    Kayla has just gotten back from school; she drops her bag in a silent thump on the floor as she turns around to face the window. She walks towards the clear glass, barely seeing her reflection in the afternoon light.

    "You've gone and done it again, haven't you?"


    "They don't see you anymore. It's your fault, isn't it? It's your fault for wanting to, in the first place. It's your fault, for agreeing so quickly-for not thinking through. Not that you always have. You were always rushing through, always running, always looking at the sun instead of the small, twinkling stars almost wrapping themselves around you.


    "But those stars-isn't the sun a star as well, you say. And you're right. It's one massive ball of fire dumped right there; where you can see it. But you can never touch it, can you?


    "They say you're not you anymore. Even your shadows change, the way you walk isn't the same now, is it? You talk different, they say. They look at you differently, too. You act different-like you've gone and swallowed everything new and now it's showing, displaying, glaring harshly at them."

    Kayla walks closer to the window, and her reflection disappears, leaving her to stare at the pathway leading away from her front door.

    "They didn't know, though. Didn't know how much you tried. They weren't there when your smile was fake and your laughter shrill. They never saw your skinned heart, ripped at the seams and crumbling, crumbling so slowly.


    "You tried. You really did; smiling and giggling politely. Even though that wasn't you. Even though all you wanted to do was grit your bloody teeth and wish to God it was all over, that all you dreamed of was that old you that they keep talking about, that old shell you've discarded for a new one, that faded reflection in the window.


    "They couldn't believe how fast, how much you've absorbed. It's like you were here, and then, you were gone. At least, that's what they think, even if they don't say. You could see it in their eyes, hear them whispering in their heads. That's when you wished you didn't know them as much as they didn't know you."


    "Yeah, you've done it again. It's not the first time this happened-not the first reflection that slithered away. No, of course not. You're not a Bunburyist, but you definitely don't live an earnest life. And there you go again.


    "But you can't say you didn't want this. You did; you really, really did. You wanted to absorb, you wanted to throw, you craved that newness, that refreshing breath of air. Because you were stifled for so very long; because you were finally, finally on familiar ground. Though the flowers be different and the sun now sets on your right, at least you recognise the slopes, the little lakes, the tiny clearing just beyond the horizon.


    "Maybe they don't like the new you because you're more opinionated now. You're louder, gentler,  more open. Maybe they don't like seeing all those emotions from you-maybe they've got too much of their own and it's just too much for them to deal with, the strangeness of it all."


    Kayla steps back, and the reflection comes back, albeit slightly distorted and discoloured. She stands, slightly slumped, but she stares at the outside world still, expressionless except for her dark, swirling eyes.

    "I wonder if they think you're ugly now. That you not being you anymore disgusts them, makes them rethink twice about themselves. Makes them wonder if they'll do like you'll do, even if they vehemently protest against it. Makes them realise that nothing's infallible.


    "Maybe they see those parts of you that're still you, and that's why they still welcome you with open arms. Perhaps they stand out a little more, now that you're not really you anymore. Little Horcruxes, they be. Parts of your soul. Only, is it really that broken?"  




A/N: As I said, lemme know what you think. =)